The Apprentice says “You’re Fired!”, we say “You’re Hired!”
on Jun 12
Last night, Sir Alan Sugar picked his Apprentice (no spoilers for those who haven’t seen it yet!) and here at Taptu, we think we may have found ours. Or at least we’ve found a new wacky person to join the team!
Dear Taptu.com team,
I have read your email regarding your search for translators and can tell you one thing: this is your lucky day! You have just found the most awesome prospective employee under the sun.
In order to avoid beating about the bush I will list a few reasons explaining why you should choose me:
- I am such an amazing person. You’d love to meet me personally.
- My English is more than fluent.
- Polish is my first language. I personally believe anyone who knows Polish should be worshiped.
- I am concentrating on my Modern and Medieval Languages degree atm, specializing in German and Russian. The last text we had to prepare in our translation class included sentences like “Sir Cathart’s eyes bulged out of his head” or “The college is swarming with bloody poofters”. This task definitely made me stronger.
- I’m a loser and when I’m not translating, I sit in my room with the curtains drawn and browse the Internet.
- Being a loser does not prevent me from being a fantastic team worker.
- Even though I don’t have a degree in Computer Sciences, I have an older brother who does. He has taught me everything a blonde should know about computers. References available on request.
- I have a laptop and I want it to marry me.
- I am a poor, underprivileged student, living on baked beans. I need this money!! Otherwise I’ll starve!
- I strongly oppose what’s happening in Tibet at the moment.
I hope I have managed to persuade you I’m the right person for the job and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours truly and sincerely,
K.
Seriously, how could we not invite her for an interview?
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June 12th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Vero,
I agree one hundred percent.
I was listening to a podcast last week on the Social Web, and your post here reminded me of it. The interview panel on the podcast concluded that CVs / resumes are not that useful these days, particulary when the truth is often “stretched”.
Far better, present your blog as your application. It’s far more difficult to maintain a false (ie, enhanced) persona over the years of maintaining a blog than it is to author 2-3 sides of a Word doc CV.
Hope the candidate interviews as well as she has grabbed your attention to date.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
If you don’t employ her, I’m going to start up my own company just so that I can!
That’s an awesome application email!
Maybe I should try a similar technique to get me a better job!
June 12th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
She did - We’ve hired her to handle Polish translations!
Success!
June 12th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I love her! I wish I got applications like this - the ones I’ve been getting recently have been making me feel grumpy.
Glad you’ve hired her, what a great application.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Ha fantastic! Glad to hear you’ve employed her!
Taptu does sound like the type of company who would take that cover letter the way it’s meant and invite her in for a chat. There are plenty of companies out there with people with no sense of humour or who cannot recognise originality.
I’m currently looking for work, I might take from her example!
Great stuff.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Brilliant! Love the application email and pleased that it worked out for both of you.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
That’s superb… do we know if her laptop has been seen in jewellery shops recently?
June 12th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
is she hot?
June 12th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
One glaring omission; nary a Polish joke. That should be the death-knell of the bipedal primate being hired.
Of course, an acceptable personal interview could overcome the lack. Especially if the lass dressed as a cute school girl in a short pleated skirt.
Just do not accept incessant giggling.
Whatever happens, always remember, the best man for the job is almost always a male. Sadly, very few females are as productive as males.
If hired, you could always have the female’s job description include “serving wench” as part of her duties.
June 12th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Sad but true, Anonymous said what I was thinking.
No it shouldn’t matter - but she sounds so great …
(I own a laptop and I want it to marry me - gold, I tells ya)
June 12th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I completely disagree with what Anonymous and Obbop said. Ridiculous comments.